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Chapter One
Addison Desmond swayed and clutched the edge of the reception desk at the Virginia Beach hospital. When she’d received her twin brother Julian’s text that the woman he loved was missing, she’d gone straight to the airport without a flight. After an eight-hour wait, a seat opened up from Paraguay to the United States. Twenty-four hours and several layovers later, she’d arrived in Virginia and came straight to the hospital. Thank goodness his girlfriend was found, but she had sustained serious injuries.
“I’m sorry, ma’am. We have a relative-only policy.” A flush of heat worked up Addy’s body. She was overtired and light-headed. All she wanted was to see her brother and make sure he was okay, but the receptionist was right—she wasn’t related to the patient.
A rough hand gently brushed over her skin, and she glanced over her shoulder. The fuzzy feeling in her brain intensified when her gaze met a pair of eyes so blue they rivaled an Alaskan sky after the sun dipped behind the mountains. She recognized the man’s rugged face from a photo Julian had sent her recently. Silver was his name. This man was one of her brother’s Navy SEAL teammates.
“You should’ve texted me, sweetheart.” He reached out and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. The tips of his fingers lingered on her cheek, and for the first time her in life, she was rendered breathless by the touch of another human being. “We could’ve walked up together.” His eyes lingered on hers before he looked up at the receptionist. “My wife just got back from a business trip. We’re both going in to see my sister.”
The woman glanced from Silver to her and back again. “I thought your brother was the patient’s fiancé.”
“Yup. Met at our wedding.” Silver nodded at the woman before steering her away from the desk.
“I wasn’t going to lie to her,” Addy whispered as they rounded the corner. The halls were eerily quiet if you didn’t count the distant beeps and dings from patient monitors. “You’re Silver, right? Julian talks about his team often, well, of course none of the secret missions you go on, but he thinks of every single one of you as a brother.” The last thing she wanted was for Silver to think Julian divulged classified information to her.
“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you, Addison. Joker talks about you often.”
The low tumble of his voice seemed to vibrate along her skin. She was still wearing the thin linen dress designed for the intense heat, but now in the cool hospital corridor, she shivered. Or maybe the shiver had nothing to do with the temperature and more to do with the man beside her. He had the physique of a warrior, and the rugged face to match. His light hair was buzzed short and the beard framing his face struck the right chord between seasoned outdoorsman and well-groomed.
“Thanks again, for making up that line about the wedding. I would’ve been frozen at the desk all night. I just need to see my brother.”
Something flashed deep within Silver’s expression. A quick flinch, then it was gone. The devastation she’d glimpsed had been so stark, it was a wonder he was still standing. She stopped in the middle of the hall, thoroughly moved by Silver’s pain, and gripped his thick, sweatshirt-covered forearm with one hand. With the other, she reached up and touched the side of his face. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“For what?” he asked, and although his expression remained serious there was little doubt in her mind that he understood exactly what she was referencing.
“The moment you were thinking of just now. I’m sorry it caused you so much pain.”
His nostrils flared as he drew in a quick breath, and she dropped her hand.
“The room’s just around the corner.” His voice was gruff, and her heart squeezed. As an anthropologist, she could study people from far away and help them through her research, but she always seemed to say the wrong thing during face-to-face interactions. Silver stopped in front of a room and Addy’s worries were forgotten. She could hear her brother’s voice. Music to her ears. Silver knocked on the side of the doorframe, but her brother was leaning toward the woman in the bed.
“I love you, Samantha Campbell.” Those words, spoken from her brother who did his best to avoid all emotion, made her gasp. She didn’t mean to disturb the heartfelt exchange, but her brother and Samantha turned toward the threshold of the room.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Silver said. “I found someone at the reception desk looking for you.”
She placed a hand on her chest, then ran across the room, going up on her toes to hug her brother. “Julian!” He wrapped her in a hard embrace and rocked her side to side.
“Addy, what are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? Are you kidding? You told me the woman you loved was missing via text and you didn’t think I would find the first flight out of Paraguay? Do you even know me?” She turned away from Julian and faced the woman who had captured her brother’s heart. Samantha. The white sheets and pillows swallowed up her petite frame. Even bandaged and bruised from her ordeal she was beautiful.
A lump wedged in her throat. “So, you’re the reason my brother’s texts have been so full of joy.” She longed to hug the woman who had softened her brother’s bruised heart. “You’re a blessing to us and I can’t wait to get to know you better.”
“Don’t freak her out with your weirdness. She’s been through a lot.” Julian sighed, but there was a tease in his tone that let her know he was joking.
“I don’t think she’s the weird twin,” Silver said dryly. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, watching the exchange. His blue eyes stopped on her for one breath, then two, and her stomach quivered. The sensation was unlike anything she’d experienced but not at all unpleasant.
“I just want her to know how much I appreciate her.” She took a deep breath and stepped closer to the bed. “It’s so nice to meet you, Sam. I’ve wished on many stars that Julian would find peace. It’s a bonus that he’s found it in the woman he loves.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, too. Thank you for coming all this way.” Despite what Sam had been through, a smile illuminated her face. She already loved Julian’s significant other. “And you should know, you’re going to be an aunt.”
A swell of joy crashed over her. When their mother had abandoned her and Julian, it had shattered him, but now he’d found love and had a baby on the way. She lifted both hands to her mouth, then burst into tears, putting one arm around Julian’s waist and another on Sam’s shoulder. After a moment, Addy noticed Silver still wasn’t present, but she could feel his eyes on her. She paused and released Julian, looking over her shoulder for the man who’d helped her get past the nursing station. She stretched her hand out toward Silver. “Join us?”
“Congratulations.” Silver smiled. “And thank you, but I’ll leave the celebrating to you.” He slipped out of the room and the sense of loss was immediate. It wasn’t often she was pulled to communicate with someone. She enjoyed learning about people’s lives and cultures, but she usually did so from afar. Silver was different. She’d only just met him, but the urge to sit him down and ask him question after question about his life, to watch the expressions play over his face, was nearly overwhelming.
“He’s okay.” Julian leaned in and kissed her cheek. Her twin always seemed to know where her mind went. “I can’t believe you’re here. The two most important women in my life in one room.”
Her nose prickled, but she wouldn’t cry again. Sam had brought about a beautiful change in Julian. To hear him expressing his feelings openly and to see the smile on his face was stunning. Julian found her a chair and they spent the next fifteen minutes catching up, but Sam had drifted to sleep. She loved how her brother’s entire face softened when he looked at the woman he’d nearly lost. She was so thankful Sam and Julian were both okay. Now that she’d seen with her own eyes that they were all right, she was beginning to crash herself.
“Sis, you’re dead on your feet.” Julian squeezed her shoulder. “How’d you get here?”
“Uber.”
Julian’s brows drew together, and a frown line creased his brow. “I wish you would’ve called. I would’ve sent one of the guys to pick you up.” Her brother leaned back in his chair, straightening his leg as he fished around his front pocket and drew out a cell phone. Julian typed out a quick message, then looked up at her.
“Silver is going to take you back to my apartment. You can crash in the spare bedroom for as long as you’d like. I know how much travel you have scheduled this year for your research study, but it would be amazing to see you for however long you have.”
There was a pang in her heart. After how hard she’d worked for her degree in anthropology, she couldn’t admit out loud that she longed to stay in one place for more than a few days. She missed her brother. Wherever she journeyed, Julian was always her home base. She didn’t have a place of her own. If she wasn’t in the field, she’d pick up a short-term rental or stay with Julian.
“No. He just left. I don’t want him to come all the way back. I’m fine taking another Uber. It’s perfectly safe.” She took a deep breath, then regretted it as the scent of latex gloves and overbleached sheets assaulted her senses.
“I’m sure it is, but you’re my baby sister. Give me peace of mind here, Addy.” Joker raked his hand through his thick sandy hair.
“Only by three minutes.” She bumped her knee against his.
“Please. I’ve already been through hell once tonight.” His troubled eyes drifted to Sam.
How could she dispute that? “Okay.” As much as she didn’t want to put Silver out, her brother had been through enough. She didn’t want him worrying about her when he should be focused on Sam.
There was a soft knock against the open door. She glanced up and, despite her exhaustion, a thrill spiraled through her. Something about the man filling up the doorframe piqued her interest like no one else ever had before.
“How did you get here so fast?” she blurted out.
“Never left.” A smile ghosted his lips, and her heart leaped. She wanted to see that expression in full bloom. There was no doubt it would dazzle her. She also longed to be the one to put it there, and wasn’t that a strange revelation? “Just went for a quick walk,” he said. Silver studied her with an odd expression on his face, and she struggled not to squirm beneath the intensity of those incredibly blue eyes.
She said goodbye to her brother and followed Silver into the hallway. “Thank you for taking me. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” Silver turned to her as a nurse pushed a patient’s rolling bed through the halls, sheltering her from being bumped. Her heart rate ticked up as the fresh scents of cypress, salt, and a hint of citrus cut through the stale hospital air. Everything about this man appealed to her. They began walking again, but this time she could feel the barest hint of his touch against her shoulder as they navigated the halls. Tingles of pleasure made goose bumps pop over her arms. Perhaps it was exhaustion, but she’d never been so drawn to someone. Silver pressed the elevator button and held the door while she got on. Maybe it was because she was his teammate’s sister, but she enjoyed the way his eyes deftly scanned the halls before taking her hand as they exited the elevator car. The pads of his fingers were rough, not that hers were soft after living in a remote campsite in the southern hemisphere, but she liked the feeling of his palm tucked into hers. When they approached the automatic doors to the outside, he stopped her.
“Wait a sec.” He gripped the back of his sweatshirt and yanked it over his head. The material of his T-shirt rose up, revealing the dark ink of a tattoo etched up one hard, muscled side. “Novembers are cold in Virginia. Did you leave your bag at the airport?”
“No, I—Oh.” She lost her train of thought as Silver carefully pulled the shirt over her head. The soft material still radiated the heat from his body, and the fuzzy interior of the fabric was soft and cozy against her skin. She couldn’t help the sigh of pleasure that escaped her lips. “I didn’t realize how chilled I was.” She offered him a smile. “Thank you.”
“You look awfully pretty in that dress, but it’s not going to keep you warm.”
Maybe not, but his words warmed her from the inside out. She wasn’t used to compliments. She spent so much time alone, save for her research partner, Wyatt, who was too conceited for her to truly befriend.
Silver assessed the parking lot as they moved through the garage. Every now and then, his hand lightly touched the small of her back, as though he was ready to defend her at any moment. They reached his truck, and Silver led her to the passenger side and opened the door for her.
Once they were driving, he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I was abrupt earlier.” The low sound of his voice rumbled through the quiet car. She sat up straighter and took in his rugged face.
“I don’t always say the right things,” she admitted. They had slowed down at a red light and Silver pinned her with his intense gaze.
“I’m not sure how, but you caught something in my expression, and you tried to comfort me. I’d say that’s incredibly intuitive and compassionate. I’m just not used to someone seeing my feelings like that. Nor am I used to talking about the experience that came to mind.”
Without thinking, she started to slide her hand toward him, then stopped. He wasn’t hers to touch. He was simply doing a favor for Julian. He wasn’t here for her, but for his brother in arms, who just happened to be her brother, too.
Even though she wanted to probe, to uncover the cause of his sadness, she forced their conversation in a different direction. “Is Silver your team name?” Joker was Julian’s nickname, given during his time in training. It still sounded strange to her ears. He’d earned it because he was the opposite of a jokester.
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I’m older than the rest of the guys. They’re always giving me shit about the gray in my beard. That’s how it stuck. My real name is Archer Ross.”
“Archer,” she repeated, savoring the sound as it rolled off her tongue. He stiffened beside her, then his gaze momentarily flicked to the passenger side. “Is it okay if I call you that?”
“Call me anything you want.” There it was again. That hint of a smile. He turned on his directional and pulled into a nice apartment complex.
“Archer, then. It’s a beautiful name with lots of history.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “It was a surname in the Middle Ages for skilled bowmen. Arrows themselves are a symbol of strength, their points sharp and seeking, whether they were loosened to strike a target or to uncover some hidden truth. You strike me as a protector, like my brother, and even though Archer is a neutral name it plays to your masculinity. Your strength both physically and emotionally.” It took her a second to realize the car had stopped moving. The car was parked and Archer had shifted so his body was angled in her direction. Warmth crept up her cheeks. She’d gone off on one of her tangents, spewing out scraps of the overwhelming amount of information packed in her head.
He let out a laugh, tinged with bitterness. “I might be physically strong, but emotionally is a stretch.”
Her embarrassment instantly vanished. “No. You’re both.”
His expression was bleak and searching, as though she held all the answers.
“Because someone without an abundance of mental and emotional strength would’ve been cut down at the knees by whatever put that look on your face in the hospital.”
He met her gaze and she fought the urge to hold her breath. After several seconds, Archer looked away and turned off the engine. “I’ll come around.”
When he got out of the truck, she allowed her eyelids to briefly drift closed. Exhaustion was bearing down on her shoulders. She jerked when the passenger-side door swung open. How she’d drifted off in the span of mere seconds it took for Archer to round the vehicle she didn’t know, only that she trusted him on some deep level.
“Sorry. I think I drifted off.”
“Paraguay to the United States is a long trip. No need to apologize. Let’s get you inside.” He leaned in and unfasted her seat belt before holding out his hands. The well-lit parking lot highlighted the thick biceps that strained against the sleeves of his T-shirt. A tattoo was inked down one forearm, and she had the most overwhelming urge to see the rest of the artwork hidden beneath his shirt, especially the one she’d glimpsed when he’d taken off his sweatshirt.
“Addison? Are you all right?”
Archer was still standing with his hands outstretched, waiting for her to climb out of the cab of the truck. He must’ve taken her silence as an indicator that she was too tired to move, and suddenly he was gripping her waist, lifting her from the seat. Her hands went to his hard, broad chest and a liquid pull started low in her belly and melted through her. She stood staring up at Archer, stunned by her visceral response to him. His lips parted as he searched her face. Tension fizzed to life between them, buzzing with electricity. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but his eyes had morphed from navy to nearly black as he stared down at her.
“Do you feel it, too?” The instant the words left her lips, she wanted to retract them. A gust of chilled air loosened some of the hair from her messy bun.
He didn’t ask what the heck she was talking about. “Yeah, sweetheart. I feel it, too.”
Chapter Two
Do you feel it, too? Silver repeated the words Addison had spoken to him in the parking lot and shifted his weight, trying to get comfortable on her brother’s couch. Addison had climbed onto the guest bed wearing the linen dress and his sweatshirt and passed out. She hadn’t stirred when he lifted her to fold down the comforter and sheets and tuck her in. He took in her features as she slept. The tips of her blonde lashes touched the tops of her cheeks and golden freckles sprinkled the bridge of her nose. He’d had women in the past but had never shared a bed with one through the night. The space beside Addison, though, had looked incredibly appealing. Shaking his head, he’d turned off the light and forced himself out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
He had no doubt that his teammate Julian “Joker” Desmond would skin him alive for fantasizing about his sister but damned if he could help it. It was a miracle he hadn’t devoured her mouth in the parking lot with the lust brimming in her eyes. She was his teammate’s sister, though, and there were lines he couldn’t, wouldn’t, cross. Still, he didn’t deny feeling how the air stirred and crackled between them. What he didn’t tell her was that he’d never experienced that kind of instant, all-consuming attraction. The kind that made Addison dangerous. It wasn’t merely chemistry between them, but the urge to spill his deepest hurts and darkest secrets. The kind that would bring all that pain and anguish to the forefront of his mind.
For forty-one years, he’d kept the people in his life to a minimum. The loss he and his parents had endured was so profound, the mere thought of it tore deep, serrating through organs and bone. So, while his own sister had been torn from the fabric of their tight-knit family, he would sleep on Joker’s couch and guard his teammate’s sibling while she slept. He’d make her breakfast and take her back to the hospital to see her brother, all while doing his best to keep the shutters battened down on his agonizing memories. What he wouldn’t do was touch her. Wouldn’t untie her hair and fist the soft strands in his hands. Wouldn’t draw her lush bottom lip between his. He’d take her where she needed to go over the next few days while Joker and Sam were in the hospital, but he’d continue to steer clear of any attachment, no matter how hard she drew him. He closed his eyes. The past few days had been draining as they desperately searched for Sam. He pulled the throw blanket down over himself and tried to find sleep.
“Come on, Quinn! Stop messing around.” He grinned and shook his head. His sister was always cracking jokes and pulling pranks. She was supposed to be throwing him a pitch, helping him get ready for tomorrow’s tournament, and instead she was pretending to fall to the ground. It was a typical Quinn thing to do, but recently, she’d been so moody, it was nice to see some of her old playfulness. He’d never admit it to his friends at school, but Quinn was his best friend. Always had been. They were only a year apart.
They were playing the meadow behind their home, and she popped up from the tall grass. Something in her expression made him freeze. It wasn’t the shit-eating grin that had been on her face before she pretended to fall. She looked…confused. “Hey! You good?” His heart started to race at the blank look in her eyes. “Quinn?” He started running. Couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense of dread shrouding him. One minute she was staring at him with that vacant gaze and the next she was crumpling to the ground. He pumped his legs harder, but he didn’t seem to be moving forward. The grass and weeds sliced his hands as he gripped and tore through it to get to his sister.
Now that he was closer, he could see her body jerking and flopping. What was he seeing? What was happening to her? He dropped to his knees and grabbed her shoulder. She thrashed, smacking him involuntarily in the face. Her eyes rolled back in her head, so only the whites were showing. He choked, desperate for oxygen. Fear was smothering him.
“Quinn! Quinn! Quinn!”
“Archer!” Quinn was holding on to him, screaming in his face. Only…
He blinked once, then twice. He wasn’t in the field with Quinn. He was in Joker’s apartment. Addison was on top of him on the couch, hands gripping his shoulders like he was about to tumble to his death.
“Look at me, Archer,” she demanded. “Breathe in.” He did as she commanded because he couldn’t bring himself to do anything else. The pain was debilitating. Sharp. He opened his mouth and gasped. How long he’d been holding his breath he had no clue, but the oxygen burned through his lungs. His heart was racing, and after that initial inhalation, his breath was sawing in and out.
“Look at me,” Addison repeated, but now that the world was coming back into focus, he wanted to look anywhere but at her big green eyes and the concern that flickered over her gaze. Her hands left his biceps and framed his face. Her touch wasn’t gentle as she forced him to look her in the eyes. “That’s it,” she soothed. “Breathe in.” She breathed in through her nose. “Now out.” And exhaled through her mouth. For the next fifteen minutes, Addison kneeled over him, legs on either side of his waist, and forced him to breathe. Once it was regulated, she stood up in one graceful motion and pulled the throw blanket over him. She padded across the living room and opened the curtains, letting sunlight flood the room.
He looked away. For a long time after Quinn’s death, he couldn’t stand beautiful things. Sunlight, the quiet ripples of the Chesapeake Bay, anything lime green—her favorite color. It didn’t seem fair to enjoy a world she couldn’t see anymore. He’d never been particularly religious, but for the first time, he hoped like hell there wasn’t an afterlife, because witnessing the devastation of those she’d left behind would’ve killed Quinn twice. A blast of chilled air caressed his sweat-soaked skin. The clank of mugs sounded from the kitchen. The hiss of coffee sputtering out of the machine. Normal everyday things. It always baffled him how the world could go on when his had stopped.
Addison came back into the room and knelt at his side. He hadn’t moved. Not yet. The pain of the nightmare had fucking gutted him. She lifted the damp towel to his skin, running the cool terry cloth over his face. There was a prickle behind his lids, and he closed his eyes, but not in time to stop the tear from leaking from the outer crease. He blinked when he didn’t feel the cloth, but the soft press of lips kissing away the tear instead. Her mouth moved to his eyelids. His nose. His chin. There was nothing sexual about her actions. She was soaking up his pain. Soothing him without words. Addison might be nearly eleven years his junior, but she was an old soul. Her care reached him in a way no counselor or psychiatrist had been able to in the past.
He opened his eyes to find all the sharp edges and fractured pieces of his torment reflected in Addison’s gaze. He hadn’t asked her to shoulder a burden she knew nothing about, but she had. She had eased some of the acidic rage that poisoned part of his soul. Took some of the ache from his heart. She moved her fingers over his face, applying pressure at his temples and forehead. Slowly the headache he didn’t realize he had faded, and she stood up once again and left the room. When she returned, it was with coffee. He sat up and made space for her on the couch. It wasn’t like him to stay in one spot for over an hour, but he was still in a haze, torn between reality and the dreamlike trance Addison cast over him. Wordlessly, she handed him the black coffee, then sat in the center cushion with her legs folded beneath her. She closed her eyes and tilted her chin toward the sun, steam rising from the mug like a trail of incense.
The coffee jolted him more fully awake. His gut reaction was to apologize, but he had a feeling that would upset her. They’d just shared something incredibly intimate, and she’d given him part of herself to help him bear the pain of loss that still whipped through him like a hurricane.
“My sister’s name was Quinn.” The tremble in his voice couldn’t be helped. Even his teammates were unaware he’d once had a sister. He wasn’t trying to pretend she hadn’t existed. He held her close in his heart, but talking about her was too much. Not a day went by when he didn’t think of her. When he didn’t try to make her proud. Make his life worth something because she would’ve changed the world with her smile and intelligence, and somehow his beautiful, vibrant sister had been taken and not him.
“We were playing ball outside our house one day when she had a seizure. That’s not what killed her, though. Really, the symptoms of her disease started much earlier that year.” He paused for a minute to breathe past the lump in his throat. “We just didn’t know what to look for. Moodiness at first. She was clumsier than usual, but she laughed it off. For the first time in her life, she was having trouble in school. It wasn’t until the seizure, though, that she was diagnosed with juvenile Huntington’s disease. It’s been called the Devil’s disease, and it is. Watching Quinn lose herself, her independence, as her brain rapidly degenerated was hell on earth. Death was the only thing merciful about the disease.”
Addison was silent for a few moments, then cleared her throat. “What were some of her favorite things?”
He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. He closed his eyes and sucked in a quick breath. It had been so long since he’d let himself remember. “Banana pancakes, roasting marshmallows over an open fire, cats. There was this big orange one that came around looking for food sometimes. My mom would always wonder why we went through turkey for sandwiches so fast. The thing was huge. She loved that fucking cat. One day she let it in the house, and it never left.” He could still picture the way she lugged it around, one hand beneath its front legs and the other on its backside, its gut protruding as it was cuddled like a baby. It took him a second to realize he was smiling. “Thank you,” he said, dumbfounded.
“You don’t need to thank me for anything,” she said over the rim of her coffee mug.
“You gave me a happy memory. One that I could smile about.” His eyes burned and he could barely see because of the moisture filling up the corners, but he could spot the way Addison’s eyes glazed with tears of her own.
“They’re all there inside you. All the beautiful things you shared. Take them out one at a time, Archer. They’ll help you heal.” Addison stood up. “I’m going to make us breakfast.”
He took a lightning-fast shower, and when he stepped out, the scent of banana pancakes drew him to the kitchen. There was a thickness in his throat as he took the first bite. Addison gripped his hand across the table. She was right. All the memories were right there. Ones he’d forced himself to push away for self-preservation. Maybe if he unpacked them slowly, one beautiful memory at a time, he could have part of Quinn back with him.
End of Excerpt
